Some Moments of Memory

Moments from 2013:

1) Added pets

We went from a family of 7 to a family of 10 this year. Well, 11 but one died. We added Molly (Mum's beloved dog) and Guinea. Then Guinea passed away and we added Daisy and Nori the guinea pigs. Yes, we are officially a zoo. Dama suggested today we open for a petting zoo. But I keep thinking about the kids, what they are going to look back on, the time when they will be gone and we can say we went the extra mile to have a big full family which includes our very loved pets. Maile turned 14 this year too and is doing really well.

2) I became a hardcore soccer mom

I bought the sleeping bag coat and fell in love with it. I have all the warm gear. I look forward to Soccer Saturdays. My life begins at 4pm shuttling the kids to soccer. Loving this sport has been a wonderful experience for me. The people that have been placed in my life and the kids' lives because of soccer have all been incredible. The coaches the kids have had that have made an impact on them and their dreams. We've done a lot of sports: track, cross country, swimming, skating, baseball, gymnastics, Aikido...and the soccer community are so real and so fun. The sport itself has inspired my kids to work hard in all areas. And I get front row seats!

 

4) I got glasses

What can I say? You turn 40 and things start falling apart.

3) Caring for and saying goodbye to my Mum

I look back and I did all I could. I miss her so much. The time seeing her decline was the hardest thing I have ever had to face. But I also know that the way she passed away, she avoided all of her worst nightmares. There is some peace in knowing that for me. She just slipped away. Many times over the years I have wondered how her life would end. I hoped that it would be in a way that she kept her dignity and did not drag out as those were her greatest wishes for the end. Thank goodness her wishes were honored by the universe.
Today I thought about how my husband will face the decline of his parents and it made me realize that this chapter of my life is done. In some ways, it is so peaceful to know I will never have to face the loss of a parent again. It was so painful. That chapter is closed. I miss you Mum. You were the greatest.

A Lesson

I think this year I have learned a really great lesson, or at least something has become pretty clear to me through my experiences.

We, as people (and especially women) don't give each other enough of a chance.

Let me explain. Sometimes it takes work to get to know someone. There are those special people who you just connect with right away and I have plenty of those in my life. Then there are the people who you meet and instantly don't connect. So many times this has happened in my life. I even think there are people who I have looked at and felt we'd never be friends.

But in this past year, I have discovered how important and beneficial it is to have to work at a friendship. As the kids get older, I have been meeting more and more people through their school and activities. In several cases, people have rubbed me the wrong way or my attempts at a friendship have been shot down. But one of my personal things I have been working on is not to give up and not to prematurely judge the possibility of connecting with someone.

A couple of examples. I met this one mom at an outside of school activity. It was the first day of the activity and she was really outgoing. We talked for a little bit and she barely let me get a word in edgewise. She seemed like the know-it-all type and seemed to want to share that all with me. I listened. And I listened. And then I went home and though "I think I'll just avoid getting in a conversation in the future"! But there she was again the next week. But I decided to open my mind and try to participate in the conversation, ask her about herself. As it turns out, we had a lot in common.

Time went by and the earthquake in Japan happened. The next time she saw me, she reached out and hugged me. She told me how much we had been in her thoughts. She offered to help in any way she could. In that moment, I realized I was right....to stick with it and work on a friendship.

I have another new-ish friend who took some work :) It has been over a year of work and part of that is she doesn't really speak English (heh heh). I am sure you are saying "no wonder"! I once wrote her a note and had is translated into Spanish to have her daughter to play. She said no because they didn't really speak English. I decided to take my time with her. We e-mail back and forth in Spanish (I use Google translate) and we have established a really nice friendship. I appreciate her desire to work with my bad Spanish! And our girls love each other. It was and is so worth it.

In the past year, I have also been given up on and it taught me how I never want to be that person. The person who, when someone makes a mistake, comes across wrong, says the wrong thing...gives up on a friendship.

If you are reading this, try living it. You will see it pay off. You'll see new friendships form with people you least expect them to. And you'll see a change in yourself that you will love.