Saturday, August 14, 2010

Howdy! and good feelings

It's me!

So, I am on the cusp of a day that I have both longed for but more recently dreaded in some ways. Come September, both kids will be in school all day. {insert fist pump}

I remember when I used to long for this day. When I could "scrap all day"! Now I know that won't be happening. More accurately, I will be at the school a lot, shuttling kids to activities, teaching swimming, maintaining the house and running of the family! It will be busy but will also be peppered with a lot more time for myself.

But recently, I have looked at the kids (especially Ellie) and felt kinda sad that they won't be around much. The thought of my little girl being gone all day makes me sad. I had last year to adjust with Lucas and thankfully he had a teacher that allowed me to drop in whenever to help out, read with the kids or just give my baby a kiss in the middle of the day. But Ellie was my sidekick last year in the afternoons. We had lots of peaceful and fun times together. It's going to feel a little empty.

It's bittersweet but I look at how far I have come with 2 kids who are so close in age. It's just a new stage for us. I have new responsibilities now. No longer do I have to deal with the "baby stuff" like diapers, fits, teaching to share. Now I will be educating, instilling values, and helping them reach their potential. I think after I adjust, this will be exactly what I want to do.
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